So you’re cooped up inside, wild-eyed from a solid month of disciplined social distancing, and thinking ever more seriously about hauling a “Christmas tree” into your home, in April, just to have “more stuff to look at.” That’s lunacy. Propping up a tree in your living room is frankly a batshit way of diversifying your environment. Why not skip ahead and just dig up someone’s grave, you absolute psycho.

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