If you want to Celebrate America before the biggest game of the NFL season, you’re going to need some kind of horn, the cheesiest you can find. Not the same kind of horn that the Yankees use to push their season ticket plans on television between Raymour & Flanigan ads, that’s more of a burbling Brahms-type thing, but the idea is the same. For an institution of sufficient importance, you’re going to have to get yourself a horn and you’re going to want to make some Revolutionary War-style sounds come out of it. It’s what America deserves, and in the years when Fox has the rights to the Super Bowl, it’s what America gets in the hours before the game.
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