So you’re cooped up inside, wild-eyed from a solid month of disciplined social distancing, and thinking ever more seriously about hauling a “Christmas tree” into your home, in April, just to have “more stuff to look at.” That’s lunacy. Propping up a tree in your living room is frankly a batshit way of diversifying your environment. Why not skip ahead and just dig up someone’s grave, you absolute psycho.
Read moreAuthor: Chris Thompson (page 1 of 1)
Illustration by Chris Thompson
Image by Dan McQuade
A bedrock belief here at Unnamed Temporary Sports Blog Dot Com is the importance of considering all viewpoints and exposing our longtime readers to the full spectrum of sports takes. This weekend you have heard plenty about The Big Game—in point of fact, everything published on this sports website has been strictly about The Big Game itself—from the various unemployed bloggers of Unnamed Temporary Sports Blog Dot Com; it seems only fair, therefore, that we present Big Game takes from our rivals and enemies, the Employed Bloggers. We have spoken to three members of this faction, chosen completely at random from the many dozens of Currently Employed Bloggers, and their Big Game takes are presented here, unedited, for your edification.
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Illustration by Chris Thompson
Of the four worst players in the NBA by box plus-minus, a perfectly solid catch-all metric used by Basketball Reference, three are rookies, none of whom are old enough to buy their own drinks, one of whom was a second-round pick. The fourth is Isaiah Thomas. Those youths have promise and potential, in varying measures; Thomas is a husk. He plays for the Washington Wizards, and despite his team’s catastrophic lack of genuine NBA talent, Isaiah manages to make them demonstrably worse every time he takes the floor, which is often. He is the worst player in the NBA.
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Illustration by Chris Thompson
Morris Berger’s tenure as offensive coordinator of Grand Valley State University has ended after a whopping 11 days. Berger, who’d been a quality control assistant at Oklahoma State for two years, was hired by Division II GVSU on January 20; on January 27 Grand Valley suspended him indefinitely, pending an investigation; on January 30, Berger resigned, having coordinated zero offense. So what the fuck happened? In a January 23 interview with the Grand Valley Lanthorn, Berger was asked what three historical figures he’d like to meet over dinner; Berger used the occasion to open up about his admiration for the leadership qualities of Adolf Hitler.
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