It arrived like a beacon pushing through a heavy fog, or the first gray shoots of daylight at dawn’s very opening, or more specifically as a notification in my direct messages. Things have changed in ways no one ever wanted, structures and edifices slouched and then slid into rubble, streets are all ashes, and yet it is clear that there is another side of it all—that there is still a pulse, an understory waiting to break and burst forth. It can be easy to lose sight of this, and I had lost sight of it when the notification came. Of course there would be a Name Of The Year Bracket, and of course it would need a home. That we could make a home for the bracket here is fortuitous. That Drew and I might be able to resume our annual tradition of saying names like “Editrix St. Furt” or “Krokodilbert Van Der Peen” and then giggling like idiot 11-year-olds…it was something I’d forgotten I could dream about, until I saw the light.
And now it is no dream. The names are real—I have even met one of the people on this year’s bracket, and she’s a delightful person—and we have also provided a sort of proof of life video demonstrating that the cackling doofs reacting to the bracket are both real and capable of using Zoom. This video, hideously, is something you can watch, with your eyes, because Drew recorded our Zoom chat and put it on his personal YouTube channel. You can watch his skydiving video there if you’d like. I’m not in that one, I should note.
There will be some dispute and some debate, as there always is. Some will say that “Scrogum” is not really that funny a last name, if you think about it, or that it’s fine but we were saying it wrong. Others will doubtless say that I was cavalier or thoughtless or otherwise unfair to the storied nameways of the Dutch. Someone will have met Courvoisier Dingle at a party or gone to graduate school with Waffles Natusch and either send us their best or tell us to go to hell. This is as it should be.
It is the way this worked, back when it worked. I know how this goes and I know that it works. I had just forgotten that it was possible for it to happen again. And then I saw the light.
Hank Scorpio says:
Yessssssssssssssss!!!!!!!
April 22, 2020 — 5:01 pm
Corbin says:
This made my entire day, Thank you so much
April 22, 2020 — 5:01 pm
CarsofFortLangley says:
Honestly, please bring this back full time. I’ll pay.
April 22, 2020 — 5:03 pm
steve says:
Hard same
April 22, 2020 — 9:40 pm
Kewalos says:
Please don’t go away this time.
April 23, 2020 — 1:39 am
AJ says:
Same, take my money
April 23, 2020 — 2:12 am
Sam says:
Same
April 23, 2020 — 6:47 am
Da-Man says:
+1
April 23, 2020 — 4:30 pm
rubdirtinit says:
im here for the laffs
April 24, 2020 — 1:33 am
Big C says:
Same here. Seriously, name your price.
April 24, 2020 — 8:52 pm
James McQueen says:
Same. I want to pay you all!
April 24, 2020 — 10:40 pm
La Muerte Peluda says:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
April 22, 2020 — 5:08 pm
kanyewesteros says:
I and a pal are writing up this year’s bracket the way we did in 2016. Preliminary notes:
This year is not that great. A lot of fairly weak names.
Mickey Mental I just love so much, and I’m not even sure I can explain why.
Eileen Strong O’Boy is quite solid, and should do well. But if her name were Eileen O’Strongboy, she would be the 1970s UCLA of this year’s bracket.
April 22, 2020 — 5:12 pm
__jon says:
I would absolutely patreon a drew+roth podcast. regardless of subject matter. i don’t even listen to podcasts anymore, but I can change my ways.
April 22, 2020 — 5:12 pm
James says:
There is already a Roth podcast you can Patreon (I do) about Hallmark movies. This week’s has a moment where Dave learns of ‘Spooky Buddies’, and says ‘Spooky Buddies’ in a tone of joy that has stayed with me for days.
April 22, 2020 — 5:46 pm
Jimbo says:
Nice to know that I am among the gentlest of people. A hearty second endorsement for DAJAM.
April 22, 2020 — 8:40 pm
David Roth says:
A hearty Merry Christmas to you both on that.
April 22, 2020 — 11:34 pm
Pete Mortensen says:
I SAID RIP IT
April 23, 2020 — 3:04 am
matt says:
When Jeb introduces the Hallmark podcast by saying: “Movies, for the gentlest of people…” I always crack up.
that’s a great line.
April 23, 2020 — 12:44 pm
Barry Blogwarts says:
Thank you for telling me about this, I had no idea.
April 24, 2020 — 1:12 pm
professor chance macphearson says:
Is there any way to get the vidcast, or perhaps just stills of David’s face, to autoplay and overwhelm the entire UTSB homepage?
April 22, 2020 — 5:29 pm
David Roth says:
We’re looking into this very strongly.
April 22, 2020 — 6:08 pm
CoastersPaul says:
Thank you, sir. It brings tears to my big strong man eyes.
April 22, 2020 — 7:09 pm
Hank Scorpio says:
We’ll do whatever it takes to bring this back full time. We’ll blow up our dams, destroy forests, anything! If there’s a species of animal that’s causing problems nosing around your camera, we’ll have it wiped out!
April 22, 2020 — 5:56 pm
UnDeadspin Forever says:
Long live the undead cast – please make this permanent!
April 22, 2020 — 6:05 pm
Samson Balishag says:
Fantastic.
April 22, 2020 — 6:19 pm
BD says:
I have never commented on a blog before.
I miss original recipe deadspin so deeply that seeing this beings me indescribable joy.
I would happy pay for some sort of subscription based model to keep the UTSB going permanently.
April 22, 2020 — 6:20 pm
MJ says:
Ditto. Would cancel my Athletic subscription for this.
April 23, 2020 — 9:48 am
HotDogCannon says:
I thought that poster behind Drew was one of those “Life is full of difficult choices” ones, but with various fleshlights.
April 22, 2020 — 6:20 pm
Porkins says:
“And in the darkness, two knights shall appear…”
April 22, 2020 — 6:25 pm
Tanfastic says:
This bit got me weepy. Thank you both!
“…Others will doubtless say that I was cavalier or thoughtless or otherwise unfair to the storied nameways of the Dutch. Someone will have met Courvoisier Dingle at a party or gone to graduate school with Waffles Natusch and either send us their best or tell us to go to hell. This is as it should be.
It is the way this worked, back when it worked. I know how this goes and I know that it works. I had just forgotten that it was possible for it to happen again. And then I saw the light.”
April 22, 2020 — 7:14 pm
David Roth says:
It feels and honestly probably is kind of stupid to get emotional about stuff like this, but hearing this beautiful lummox hooting “we’re back” definitely had me in my feelings. There’s going to be more of this, and I hope it’ll eventually get normal enough that you and me and everyone else dumb enough to care about this will barely notice it. But man I really did miss that a lot, too.
April 22, 2020 — 11:36 pm
Da-Man says:
That Tan-tastic dude is spot on. I thought I was dead inside. But those were nicely worded sentiments and it made me a bit emotional.
April 23, 2020 — 4:35 pm
PeteJayhawk says:
I’m so happy
April 22, 2020 — 7:44 pm
Neymar’s Rolls says:
This made my month- thank you both! Deadspin is dead- long live UTSB.
Also- The Fratellis are the band where everyone has the band as a last name.
April 22, 2020 — 8:27 pm
Jimbo says:
So great to see/hear you both again. Please let me give you my money.
April 22, 2020 — 8:38 pm
Andtheysaychicity says:
Comon guys. I give you money. You make shit like this. Purely transactional relationship. You don’t even have to say goodbye when I leave in the morning.
April 22, 2020 — 9:20 pm
Emma says:
Really enjoyed the video! It’s great to just hear y’all talking to each other again. Drew has such a gleeful voice and Roth could talk about literally anything in his deadpan tone to my great amusement.
Heard y’all mentioning something about wanting to do a podcast but then shit got fucked? I’m intrigued…
April 22, 2020 — 10:02 pm
McGowan says:
God bless Roth’s plaid
April 22, 2020 — 10:23 pm
David Roth says:
This was a gesture of respect to Drew and to the listeners. Also obviously if there was no video element I would’ve continued dressing like Judah Friedlander in 30 Rock. But this seemed important.
April 22, 2020 — 11:38 pm
Gareth Fuller says:
Who could have guessed in this strange, falling apart, millennianal-decline-&-fall-of-Rome type morass we find ourselves in that “We’re Back!” would become the “NO. I am Spartacus” for a very specific type of person…
May 4, 2020 — 6:00 am
Old Beige Guy says:
Courvoisier Dingle is the strongest #14 seed since Stephen F Austin in 2016 #DingleDudes
April 22, 2020 — 11:19 pm
Darklynn says:
I’m… clicking on the site with good sports opinions? is this real?
April 23, 2020 — 12:28 am
It's a shame shame shame says:
I was meant to have a early morning conference call with Germany but it got cancelled last minute so I watched this instead and my mental health is like 3000% better for it.
April 23, 2020 — 4:44 am
Garfield Thelonius Remington III says:
I literally just did the Kermit the Frog “YAAAYYYYYYY” dance unironically as soon as I read this and realized what it was.
April 23, 2020 — 9:21 am
Moody Goo says:
Oh man the possible last episode of Shutdown Fullcast came out yesterday so I cannot tell you how much I needed this. Weirdo sports goofs forever.
April 23, 2020 — 4:50 pm
MISSY says:
I was sad to see our local weather girl, Majestic Storm, didn’t make the bracket this year.
April 23, 2020 — 6:24 pm
grantimatter says:
I feel it’s incumbent on me to point out that Billy Jack was an anti-fascist film series.
I cannot speak for Billyjack Buzzard’s personal politics, but Billy Jack was defending a hippie school of Native Americans against racist horse-killers who refused his overtures of peaceful coexistence, so he had to take THIS foot (points to right foot) and put it on THAT side of their head (points to the right side of their head) and there wasn’t a DAMN thing they could do about it.
The sequel (technically the third movie, but the second with “Billy Jack” in the title) got into Jungian psychology with hallucinatory snakebite rituals and kung fu. I am not making that up.
The film series is also notable for changing the way films were distributed, creating the concept of an “opening night.” It was the first real “blockbuster” film: https://www.popmatters.com/billy-jack-the-original-blockbuster-2496246373.html
The Trial of Billy Jack was released the same year as The Godfather II – and outearned it.
In other words, I recommend people watch these films as essential documents of the 70s subculture if nothing else. They’re brilliantly nuts.
April 23, 2020 — 10:36 pm
milbarge says:
I went to law school with a girl whose last name was McQuality. She changed it when she got married.
April 24, 2020 — 1:06 pm
tomservo42 says:
The fact that Scrogum is a petty criminal from the outskirts of Branson, Missouri really lends credence to his worthiness
http://bransontrilakesnews.com/news_story/article_f9e7cfb8-8259-11e5-8e05-1b634d3150c5.html
April 24, 2020 — 1:07 pm
dingle says:
OK, it was a hellish work week, and I’m finally getting to the blogs.
Listening to these two jackwagons has made my Saturday. Now I’m going to have a beer, put on my mask, and take a leisurely bike ride. It’s a good day.
April 25, 2020 — 6:34 pm
Gareth Fuller says:
I have waited, yearned even, to hear Drew’s ridiculous voice let me know in that strained shriek of his that “We’re back, we’re back”. It has cheered me no end.
May 2, 2020 — 1:08 am