Stare long enough at a disparate set of data points and clusters emerge. If you’re an Ancient Mesopotamian, millions of scattered points of light in the sky become constellations. If you’re a bored, doodling mathematician named Stanislaw Ulam, cardinal numbers arrayed in a spiral reveal grouped patterns in the seemingly random occurrence of primes. Even if you’re a koala—hamstrung by a too-small brain, because you can’t muster the energy to sustain a larger one, because the only thing your body can digest for energy is literally toxic and will kill you if eat too much of it—pattern recognition helps you find your next meal.
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What an actual six-year-old's drawing of the new Pescara kit might look like, by Billy Haisley
Earlier this week, Italian soccer club Pescara unveiled their new kit for the 2020–21 season that may or may not happen. The kit was the winning entry of a contest that asked young supporters to dream up their ideal Pescara jersey. The colorful shirt made waves because its artist, Luigi, is 6 years old. The jersey’s legitimate coolness is able to overshadow the immediately obvious fact that no 6-year-old could possibly put together something this good.
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Emblem of Saudi Arabia by Anus Kafm, terrible seahorsies by Billy Haisley
It’s been a typically circuitous route, but all reports say Mike Ashley’s latest deal to sell Newcastle United has all but crossed the finish line. As Sky Sports reports, the contracts have been drawn and signed, the deposit has been deposited, the i’s dotted and t’s crossed. All that’s keeping PCP Capital Partners from acquiring the club from Ashley is the Premier League subjecting the new ownership group to its acquiescent owners’ and directors’ test. That means we’re probably mere days away from Newcastle going from an infamously mismanaged club, with no realistic hopes of success, owned by a blundering idiot, to being impossibly rich, having better future prospects than ever before, owned by murderers.
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