On April 9, 2020, I saw this video of Jameis Winston doing some sort of drill:
And now I can’t stop thinking about it!
What exactly is Winston supposed be preparing for with this drill? A scenario in which a balled-up Aaron Donald is launched across the line of scrimmage by a trebuchet? Is he worried that the Saints are going to make Sonic the Hedgehog their new blitzing linebacker? I stay up every night howling these questions at myself.
Winston is still a free agent, and despite throwing 30 interceptions last year, he deserves an NFL job. He also deserves recognition for being football’s foremost practitioner of cringe humor. What other player can claim moments as hysterical as this fumble, this speech, this speech, and now this workout video on his résumé?
I will now click play on the video above for what must be the 178th time, because the man knows how to captivate an audience.
Maas says:
This feels like home.
April 20, 2020 — 11:59 am
backspin says:
Yes it does.
April 20, 2020 — 12:22 pm
helpimabug says:
+1
April 20, 2020 — 2:15 pm
tempreader says:
:’’’)
April 20, 2020 — 3:42 pm
Dreadspun says:
Are we sure there aren’t any rush ends out there with one giant testicle?
April 20, 2020 — 12:00 pm
Allgood says:
Jason Pierre-Paul maybe?
April 20, 2020 — 1:34 pm
Christopher Buecheler says:
Does … does he move his feet like that the entire time he’s in the pocket?
April 20, 2020 — 12:00 pm
Snappingturo says:
His bottom half resembles my dog hearing kibble being poured into the bowl.
April 20, 2020 — 12:03 pm
Scarred Bucs Fan says:
Yes. Yes he does.
April 20, 2020 — 12:12 pm
CaptFamous says:
Well, the Patriots are currently down a QB who ended last season with an historic pick 6 so
April 20, 2020 — 12:01 pm
JDP says:
He also deserves a couple sexual assault convictions, but who am I to judge.
April 20, 2020 — 12:02 pm
rj77 says:
YUP
April 20, 2020 — 2:20 pm
Charles Unbeknownst says:
This!!! I suppose we have to choose to interpret “deserve” as meaning “fulfills strict technical requirements” in this case.
April 20, 2020 — 2:52 pm
matt says:
Eh – I think Winston’s simply hedging his bets. he gets to look like he’s quick to dodge the grasp of either an incoming defensive lineman or a security guard, should he have to pursue his second love: heisting shit.
April 20, 2020 — 12:02 pm
La Muerte Peluda says:
That feeling when you’ve eaten “free” crab legs recently.
April 20, 2020 — 12:06 pm
TrollSoHardUniversity says:
Oh god I’m so glad you guys are back temporarily. Rebooted deadspin is like a copy of a copy of Deadspin. It’s like all the deadspin writers that we know and love and hate tried the first time travel experiment in Avengers Endgame and turned themselves into eighth graders who have sports takes.
April 20, 2020 — 12:07 pm
Keelo says:
The fucking headlines are like when you first learn what cursing is, and badly want to do it, but don’t really know how yet. It’s all bad (presumably, I’m not clicking on their shit), but the headlines are just legitimately sad.
April 20, 2020 — 10:46 pm
ShaqtinAFool says:
You laugh, but how else is he gonna make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs?
April 20, 2020 — 12:07 pm
MemeWeaver says:
I’ll bet there are 10-12 other takes where the ball falls out of his hands….
April 20, 2020 — 12:20 pm
backspin says:
I miss all of you.
April 20, 2020 — 12:23 pm
SenseAndSensimilla says:
Yeah. I didn’t create a small set of fake sportswriters and give them names like “Dru”, “Thom”, “Alburt”, etc., surrounded by fake commentariat of toothpicks with pithy names.
Miss everyone, too.
April 20, 2020 — 2:37 pm
Quarantine Idle says:
between the twerk and the wrecking ball he’s got a chance at Miley Cyrus backup dancer
April 20, 2020 — 12:24 pm
Ryan says:
god I missed this.
April 20, 2020 — 12:30 pm
Caviar SmokeBoy says:
I guess he’s proving he can see shit?
He’s going to be unemployed this season.
April 20, 2020 — 12:35 pm
Ryan says:
Just because he can see the players in opposing uniforms doesn’t mean he won’t throw the ball to them.
April 20, 2020 — 2:18 pm
Bonertown says:
As soon as I’m done printing this post I’m going to burn it, cook it’s ashes up in a spoon, and bang it directly into my vein.
April 20, 2020 — 12:42 pm
crackingbear says:
When is Drew gonna get off his ass and post something??? Or is he still lounging around in his bathrobe?
April 20, 2020 — 12:42 pm
slatts says:
Desperately want to see Tommy move his feet like that when he’s getting sacked in beautiful downtown Tampa Bay
April 20, 2020 — 12:44 pm
Alex says:
Can’t find it, but all I can think about is the RGIII video of him dragging tires with ropes tied around his ankles.
April 20, 2020 — 1:00 pm
DomArgUSA says:
Tough to find online, but the following link has a photo of RGIII and the training tires:
https://www.stack.com/a/athletes-showing-off-during-workouts
April 20, 2020 — 3:37 pm
Dumpcake says:
Now do the Iniesta workout
April 20, 2020 — 1:34 pm
Burt Thaxton says:
FUCK JIM SPANFELLER
April 20, 2020 — 1:56 pm
JustinDignant says:
I LOVE THIS AND I LOVE ALL OF YOU
April 20, 2020 — 3:50 pm
Denis Lemieux says:
Almost getting popped right after the drill ended is the most Jameis way to end the workout.
April 20, 2020 — 4:46 pm
Tiny hand says:
At what point does it go from working out to fucking around
April 20, 2020 — 6:19 pm
god damn i miss Raysism every single day says:
sure but how far can he punt a football
April 20, 2020 — 8:06 pm
RAYMOND TERRY says:
It’s the funniest thing ever. Holy shit.
April 21, 2020 — 12:07 am
Birdo says:
He’s seen into the future and is practicing dodging low-flying player-perspective drone cams.
April 21, 2020 — 2:23 am