The NFL And FOX Only Know How To Celebrate America Like Total Weirdos

Oh, To Be A Bear In Receipt Of Cake On My Birthday!

What should anyone want from this damn life?

It’s a question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately, due to a variety of circumstances. I’ll be in the ground sooner than I’d prefer, and so I wonder: What do I want to feel before I get there?

I want to feel how these bears must have felt while being lovingly fed cake on their shared birthdays:

That must be nice.