It’s passé to publish a year-end list in February, but some shit came up and our plans changed. The Unnamed Temporary Sports Blog staff has compiled a non-exhaustive list featuring (some of) the worst tweets of 2019. Yes, we too wish Daniel Radcliffe was reading these.
12-0, 12-2, 14-1, 12-1, 11-2, 12-2, 13-1 …86-9.
— Albert Breer (@AlbertBreer) January 2, 2019
Big 10 Champs 2014, ’16, ’17.
Sugar Bowl Champs, Fiesta Bowl Champs, Cotton Bowl Champs, Rose Bowl Champs.
2014 National Champs.
Thank you, @OSUCoachMeyer.
He coached Johnny Football, Baker Mayfield and Patrick Mahomes.
— Manish Mehta (@MMehtaNYDN) January 3, 2019
He’s got confidence, creativity and endless swagg.
He might turn Sam Darnold into a superstar.
Can Kiss Sexbury save the #Jets ?
Story: https://t.co/n1H9vUY4g4 pic.twitter.com/o8vkzkqWEC
Just caught Vic Fangio on the phone:
— Mike Klis (@MikeKlis) January 9, 2019
"Hey, I'm packing and getting ready to catch a flight, can we postpone this until a little later?''
No problem. And congratulations.
"Thank you."#9sports
On this day 46 years ago the American League adopted the designated hitter rule. The age of strategy was gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators had succeeded; and the glory of baseball was extinguished forever.
— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) January 11, 2019
I didn't think I'd see them kill sports in this country. I was wrong.
— Mike Francesa (@MikeFrancesa) January 17, 2019
Mark these words. Underline them ?️ #Wizards pic.twitter.com/57zYsVGSeN
— NBC Sports Wizards (@NBCSWizards) January 17, 2019
With every Patriot victory, I am winning the victory over myself, says @DouthatNYT. I am shedding old habits, jettisoning the underdoggery and romance of my childhood, learning to love dynastic rule. https://t.co/xPVZgYYXtT
— New York Times Opinion (@nytopinion) February 5, 2019
Kevin Durant has the perfect last name because he 'do rant.' He rants, he rants, and he rants. Every other day he's ranting about something. He bites the hand that feeds him. More @Undisputed, now on FS1 https://t.co/UgePuCj2qt
— Skip Bayless (@RealSkipBayless) February 7, 2019
That the shoe blew out on National TV. That the shoe blew out for Duke-UNC. That the shoe blew out on Zion Williamson. Awful look for Nike.
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) February 21, 2019
“I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer. If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and then make a change.” – #MichaelJackson
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) March 5, 2019
I hate the Celtics! Sung to the tune of I shot the Sheriff…BTW…I LUV law enforcement…and I LUV Bob Marley…But…Wat a terribul message that song puts out…Sheriffs risk their lives for us evry day…Cmon,Bob…
— Mychal Thompson (@champagnennuts) March 9, 2019
BREAKING:
— Kyle Kashuv (@KyleKashuv) March 16, 2019
Sean Spicer just confirmed that Saturdays are in fact “for the boys.” @seanspicer @barstoolsports pic.twitter.com/SKGGDnFvfk
I’m on LSU -2, Murray State +5, Gators +7, and Zags +13 today. Get rich, kids. #shootersshoot
— Clay Travis (@ClayTravis) March 23, 2019
Sorry to see Gronk to retire. Went to my high school. See you in hall of fame
— John Clayton (@JohnClaytonNFL) March 25, 2019
60. The engagement of Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez
— The Ringer (@ringer) June 25, 2019
59. Long Shot’s little moments
58. Mr. Ratburn’s wedding on 'Arthur'
57. Tierra Whack launches Whack History Month
56. Kathryn Hahn looks at Rachel Weisz#RingerDish100
Tyler Skaggs was pitching pretty well this year. Which is a small thing compared to dying at 27, but a shame for him he didn't get to finish a good season.
— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) July 1, 2019
You also tweeted last year that 2018 would be your best year ever & another time you tweeted that you’d be reporting in time for the season so, you know, I kinda have trust issues w/ you & your twitter promises. But feel free to make a sizable donation to https://t.co/zuDmveSQ5R https://t.co/KbiDacZ3uT
— Matthew Berry (@MatthewBerryTMR) July 29, 2019
The Mets offense tonight:
— SNY (@SNYtv) September 12, 2019
9 runs
11 hits
??
If you can’t be happy on less than 28K in your first job out of school, then I don’t want anything to do with you. https://t.co/oZRcXRxd86
— Graham Couch (@Graham_Couch) October 3, 2019
Getting my boys trained up on how to use a gun in the unlikely event @BernieSanders beats @realDonaldTrump in 2020. In which case knowing how to effectively use a gun under socialism will be a must. By the way most the head shots were theirs. @NRA @WatchChad #2ndAmendment pic.twitter.com/6xUsS7ciX3
— Aubrey Huff (@aubrey_huff) November 26, 2019
Deadspin has operated as a white gang for the last 10 years, blackmailing and bullying media executives and carrying out hits for the media executives willing to pay for it. A group of thugs. Deadspin was the Death Row Records of journalism. https://t.co/hiE5sKssGQ
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) October 29, 2019
Alex says:
Those last three…
February 2, 2020 — 11:29 am
Toronto says:
Most of this I don’t understand.
But the NRA one I got.
Yikes.
February 2, 2020 — 11:30 am
Thomas Knapp says:
See… I actually LIKE when people feel comfortable enough to post shit like that.
It’s really useful in identifying who you should never trust with anything.
February 2, 2020 — 1:21 pm
mattius3939 says:
Me neither! (regarding not understanding most of these tweets)
But goddamnit if this hasn’t been the highlight of my content consumption today!
February 2, 2020 — 1:53 pm
LUKE O'NEIL says:
Good blog imo
February 2, 2020 — 11:30 am
Fred Zeppelin says:
If Deadspin was the Death Row of sports journalism then Magary was definitely its Snoop Dogg.
February 2, 2020 — 11:33 am
CopperHammer says:
A super edgy former pothead who had a bunch of kids and now does Martha Stewart content?
February 2, 2020 — 11:43 am
24K Fitzmagic says:
+1
February 2, 2020 — 11:55 am
TrollSoHardUniversity says:
+1
February 2, 2020 — 2:13 pm
Chris ACU says:
+1
February 2, 2020 — 2:56 pm
BCEnergy says:
+1
February 2, 2020 — 3:09 pm
uttsbee says:
+ 1
February 2, 2020 — 3:34 pm
Bill James Boswell says:
+1 Williams-Sonoma microplane
February 2, 2020 — 4:22 pm
LongbowMkII says:
+14.95 peppermint bark
February 2, 2020 — 4:57 pm
Heavy Metal Lawyer says:
Former pothead?
February 3, 2020 — 2:02 pm
Old Beige Guy says:
Yesssssss. Seventh straight year not on the list.
February 2, 2020 — 11:34 am
Undisputed Dreck says:
FOR THIS I MISS DEADSPIN (as Skippy Bayless drones on during the Super Bowl pregame talking about the majesty of the Dallas Cowboys and it’s wonderful players)
February 2, 2020 — 11:38 am
meowmeowmeow says:
Surprised this wasn’t just Darren Rovell tweets
February 2, 2020 — 11:38 am
Constantine says:
Or Biff tweets.
February 2, 2020 — 1:08 pm
Barren Hovel says:
UTSB has operated as a WHITE GANG for the last 3 days.
February 2, 2020 — 11:39 am
Gardner minshew is my spirit animal says:
+ Just another motherfucking day fo UTSB so They begin like this
No medallions, dreadlocks or black fists
It’s just that gangsta glare
With gangsta raps
That gangsta shit
Makes a gangs of snaps
(Uh, word to the motherfucking streets)
And word to these hyped-ass lyrics and dope beats
That I hit you with
That I get you with
As I groove in my ‘4 on D’s
February 2, 2020 — 5:45 pm
Patrick Daugherty says:
The Mike Klis tweet changed the game forever.
February 2, 2020 — 11:53 am
Undisputed dreck says:
NBC Sports Wizard: “We will never, ever, tank”. Nor, apparently, pick a goatee/hairstyle combo that approaches anywhere near flattering.
February 2, 2020 — 11:56 am
Untitled1 says:
That Mets one… yikes.
February 2, 2020 — 12:18 pm
UTSB: a new hope says:
+9
-11
February 2, 2020 — 8:21 pm
Derry Murbles says:
On $28K a year you’re gonna be Graham Futon at best.
February 2, 2020 — 12:30 pm
OofMadonn says:
Christ, I’d forgotten how much of a callous freak The Baseball Crank was about Tyler Skaggs. What a dipshit
February 2, 2020 — 12:44 pm
weirdnumbers says:
That the blog came out in February 2019. That the blog came out on Unnamed Temporary Sports Blog. That the blog did not feature a single tweet from the Trump family. Awful look for Deadspin.
February 2, 2020 — 1:02 pm
weirdnumbers says:
*February 2020!
February 2, 2020 — 1:03 pm
CoastersPaul says:
Finally, a comment system with less editing support than Kinja!
February 2, 2020 — 3:34 pm
Rob says:
UTSB is a blessing. The internet really needs you fuckrakers in it.
February 2, 2020 — 1:14 pm
TrollSoHardUniversity says:
This blog is wrong because all the worst tweets are the replies to the Mets tweet
February 2, 2020 — 1:15 pm
Thomas Knapp says:
I dunno, if anyone called me the “Death Row of [x]” I’d think that was pretty awesome.
February 2, 2020 — 1:18 pm
Private Equity: Protecting Legacies and Growing Together says:
I see we have the new byline of the site.
Unnamed Temporary Sports Blog Dot Com
The Death Row Records of Journalism
February 2, 2020 — 1:38 pm
Private Equity: Protecting Legacies and Growing Together says:
Wow, inputting your own HTML tags actually changes the text! I love you, UTSB
Anyway, Death Row Records had 15 platinum and multi-platinum releases between 1992-2002, effectively changing hip-hop and rap music. Notable releases include:
– Dr. Dre, The Chronic – 3x Platinum
– Snoop, Doggystyle – 4x Platinum
– 2Pac, All Eyez on Me – Diamond
– 2Pac, Greatest Hits – Diamond
Not the smartest taek from Mr. Whitlock.
February 2, 2020 — 1:50 pm
Ed Abbey says:
Sure, if we are ignoring some things. 1. Fuck Whitlock, but he comparing, or relating, or whatever the thug aspect of Deathrow, so, your take doesn’t make any sense. 2. Deathrow the label didn’t really do anything to make the artist work any better, just happen to be where the artist were when it happened. 3. Snoops dogs shit doesn’t age well, very weak rhymes overall.
February 2, 2020 — 5:05 pm
Gardner minshew is my spirit animal says:
Totally agree
February 2, 2020 — 5:39 pm
Agbayanni says:
C’mon, Bob!
February 2, 2020 — 1:50 pm
Malloy says:
There must have been a mistake here, Lenny Dykstra tweeting Man in the Mirror is actually an extremely good tweet.
February 2, 2020 — 2:19 pm
Jersey Joe says:
Lenny Dykstra being able to tweet outside a correction facility is amazing.Jersey Joe
February 2, 2020 — 3:24 pm
The Very Stable-est Jenius says:
If deadspin was the “death row records of sports journalism” Drew is obviously Dr Dre and Moskovitz is Snoop but who is Tupac et al? I’m thinking Burke was Tupac….
February 2, 2020 — 4:09 pm
DouchebagMahoney says:
I could also see Craggs or Marchman in a Tupac role. But who are Easy E, Tim Dogg, and Luke?
February 3, 2020 — 9:51 am
Montythemongoose says:
Daulerio is Suge. Leitch is Tupac.
Rick Chandler is Nate Dogg. RIP to two good doggs.
February 8, 2020 — 12:20 am
Burt Thaxton says:
Whoooo!
God I missed this stuff.
Thanks for firing up a giant spliff of blogs.
For the last few years I’ve been dealing with chronic pain as I wait for knee replacements. Y’all always made me laugh on the hard days.
Fuck PE
February 2, 2020 — 4:18 pm
pg13 says:
What did Chuck D ever do to you, Burt?
February 2, 2020 — 6:50 pm
Acutegroininjury says:
Good god. I miss Deadspin more than I anticipate missing my wife when she inevitably leaves me for skinny Gronk.
February 2, 2020 — 4:53 pm
Gardner minshew is my spirit animal says:
+ filed to underexplained lists
February 2, 2020 — 5:37 pm
Monkey Mouse says:
Thank fuck y’all are back. It was dark times out there.
February 2, 2020 — 6:26 pm
Sgt_Quarterback says:
It was good while it lasted. Wish this blog was staying alive for longer than 3 days. Now what am I supposed to do at work?
February 3, 2020 — 10:36 am
FreeA-Rod says:
Good lord that Whitlock tweet! What an ass-clown Uncle Tom motherfucker. “White” gang, cuz only black youths that don’t pull up their pants are in gangs, right Jason?
February 5, 2020 — 12:25 pm