Humans have long believed in the psychic powers of animals. “In centuries past, psychics communicated with an animal in order to divine information about a coming event,” says an article about psychic animals I picked out to prove my point. Here’s another one: “In ancient history, cats were known to be able to move from this world to the Spirit World with ease… even up to the present, many people still think of cats as especially gifted with psychic abilities.”
This isn’t just confined to history. Punxatawney Phil, a groundhog, has been predicting the weather in Western Pennsylvania since 1887 even though he isn’t very good at it. Animals have been credited with predicting natural disasters. But, mostly, we now use animals’ psychic ability to predict the outcome of sporting events.
The modern string of sports-predicting animals comes in the wake of the success of Paul the Octopus a decade ago. After going 4-2 predicting Euro 2008, the resident of Sea Life Centre in Oberhausen, Germany, went a perfect 8-0 predicting the 2010 World Cup. Though there were other animals making picks, no one was as famous as Paul. He got write-ups from around the world; his Wikipedia page features 45 citations and the following quote from Paul’s keeper: “There are always people who want to eat our octopus but he is not shy and we are here to protect him as well. He will survive.”
Despite attacks on Paul from unhappy football fans—Mahmoud Ahmadinejad called him a symbol of Western decadence—and the octopus’ death not long after the World Cup, everyone wanted in on the game. And why not? Paul’s Wikipedia contains a section titled “Death and legacy.” Your zoo or shelter is just a few lucky (psychic) picks away from getting in the news.
RationalWiki, a site aimed at refuting pseudoscience and conspiracy theories, has a whole page of psychic sport-predicting animals. “There is a tendency to use animals known for their intelligence such as a goat, parrot, octopus, cat, and pig,” the site says, “although predictions have also been made using ants, a kangaroo, meerkats, and penguins.” Lest you think this is confined to sports, four years ago Buzzfeed found 13 animals that had predicted the presidential election. They went 8-5, which is way better than pundits or Drew Magary did.
Which brings us to today’s video from the Cincinnati Zoo, home of Fiona the hippopotamus. (She also has a Wikipedia page.) The zoo posted a video of Fiona making her pick. In it, she vomits on Kansas City’s logo. Apparently the barfing means she picked the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl. Less famous animals—John the lion, and Cheetah cub Kris—also made picks, but neither of them vomited.
Congratulations, Chiefs! You made an animal hurl.
Bill Simmons is BS says:
It also means at least 20 more years of Dan Snyder for the Redskins.
January 31, 2020 — 4:24 pm
Erik Lonnrot says:
Pack it up everyone, no one is topping this comment.
January 31, 2020 — 6:18 pm
Sean Montgomery says:
Dammit I miss the ability to give likes
February 1, 2020 — 7:15 pm
Triumph of the Will Clark says:
My wife has had a photo of Fiona the hippo on our fridge for years now. Finally: a sports story she’ll care about! Thank you UTSB!
January 31, 2020 — 4:29 pm
Hit Bull Win Steak says:
Donovan McNabb nods in solidarity
January 31, 2020 — 4:31 pm
Eric_Time says:
A giant disgusting creature lumbered around and eventually puked at a sports party? So what I’m hearing is that you’re finally going to post the video from the last Deadspin Awards.
January 31, 2020 — 4:35 pm
Hit Bull Win Steak says:
Jesus, how does UTSB not have a star feature??
January 31, 2020 — 5:04 pm
Fluoride Zombie says:
I’ll happily trade the starring feature to not have anyone in the greys
January 31, 2020 — 5:27 pm
Pete says:
She must have just finished off a bowl of five-way.
January 31, 2020 — 7:49 pm
Two’s Girlfriend says:
+1
January 31, 2020 — 10:44 pm
Derry Murbles says:
+1
January 31, 2020 — 5:10 pm
MightyFightinDuck says:
+1
January 31, 2020 — 6:35 pm
basedgodshamgod says:
+1 blackout coma
January 31, 2020 — 6:55 pm
The Wook Whisperer says:
+1
January 31, 2020 — 11:33 pm
LongbowMkII says:
+2 awkwardly dancing thumbs
February 1, 2020 — 10:33 am
Pedantic Comment says:
+1 original comment
+1 subsequent gif reference
February 1, 2020 — 11:44 am
insert_funny says:
This is the kind of sports blog content I miss.
January 31, 2020 — 4:36 pm
Dead Moon Night says:
You guys are really firing on all cylinders
January 31, 2020 — 4:37 pm
dadleisure says:
Fortunately this was the first time an animal from the Cincinnati Zoo appears to have been mistreated.
January 31, 2020 — 4:39 pm
Montythemongoose says:
DICKS. OUT.
February 7, 2020 — 11:55 pm
Michael Realman says:
Chunky soup = chunky pukes!
January 31, 2020 — 4:43 pm
Derb-O-Tronic says:
This is the content we all crave. Welcome back.
January 31, 2020 — 4:44 pm
Robot Jerry Rice says:
A true Bengals fan would have barfed on the 49ers logo as payback. That hippo is letting her city down.
January 31, 2020 — 4:47 pm
John says:
This has been the best Internet day in months. Please extend this past the weekend.
January 31, 2020 — 4:49 pm
Woke n' Boke says:
I’d love to see Dan McQuade get his own spin-off…
… I wake up for this content
January 31, 2020 — 4:51 pm
La Muerte Peluda says:
I suppose hippos are like bald bears. I’ll allow it.
January 31, 2020 — 4:51 pm
Patrick says:
But did Paul the octopus beat the spread?
January 31, 2020 — 4:52 pm
LamarJacksonShellacsPats says:
I’ve missed this kind of content so much
January 31, 2020 — 5:04 pm
Derry Murbles says:
Walrus Barfs While Managing Chiefs’ Timeouts During Super Bowl
January 31, 2020 — 5:12 pm
The Majestic Canadian Moose says:
I bow in reverence
January 31, 2020 — 5:47 pm
ERIC_TIME says:
+1
January 31, 2020 — 6:03 pm
MMI says:
+1
January 31, 2020 — 8:42 pm
Not sticking to sports says:
+1
February 1, 2020 — 11:06 pm
Praying Mantits says:
“Hippopotamus barfs while picking Super Bowl winner”
Well, that’s one way to describe a Jason Whitlock column.
January 31, 2020 — 5:18 pm
Pedantic Comment says:
+1
February 1, 2020 — 11:45 am
Fluoride Zombie says:
Cats don’t have psychic powers, geez. Can we put this myth to bed already?
Cats have teleportation powers ONLY. They have a personal dimension they can go in and out of at will. Any cat owner can confirm this.
January 31, 2020 — 5:23 pm
I ate Tomato says:
Things I learned today: groundhogs can live for more than 130 years!
January 31, 2020 — 5:26 pm
Erik Lonnrot says:
Just this one, and only because he decapitated a bunch of other groundhogs granting him both immortality and a mediocre ability to predict the weather.
January 31, 2020 — 6:21 pm
chilidogs says:
why is it so MOIST though
January 31, 2020 — 5:28 pm
Pollyjenna says:
Meow meow, pet me on my glistening belly.
January 31, 2020 — 5:49 pm
Pollyjenna says:
Ugh this is the worst cat.
January 31, 2020 — 5:48 pm
Fakename says:
But is Fiona a gym rat student of the game with grit destined to last in the league or just skating by on hippo athleticism, long form investigation please!
January 31, 2020 — 10:54 pm
Violinski says:
There was this great void in my life – and suddenly it’s filled.
January 31, 2020 — 6:38 pm
Tomato Time or GTFO says:
My wife hates this entire blog crew. The reason for this is simple: more often than not, I would read it in bed late at night when she was sound asleep, and the hilarity that it contained would regularly inspire me to silently laugh so god damn hard that it would shake the bed and wake her the fuck up. I would typically have to leave the bed and finish reading in the bathroom so that she wouldn’t murder me where I silently crylaughed in bed.
Tonight is the 1st time that this phenomena has occurred in far too damn long. Please keep pissing my wife off in this manner. The joy y’all bring me, and so many others, is totally fucking worth it.
February 1, 2020 — 2:50 am
bigblueballs says:
I love this comment
February 1, 2020 — 7:07 pm
Lane Dash, MD says:
“There are always people who want to eat our dumb sports bloggers but they are not shy and we are here to protect them as well. They will survive.”
February 1, 2020 — 7:35 pm