I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately. Mostly because I just wrote a book about it. But also because everything outside of my house right now is absolute shit and love, as it always has, provides refuge from all of the bad things. Not only does love itself provide a distraction that’s really purpose in disguise, but just THINKING about love can do the same. Hence, me firing up a cart, sitting back in my recliner, and treating myself to love songs both heartsick and triumphant so that I can bask in both love’s presence and in its memory.Read more
To celebrate the release of Point B yesterday, I did a live reading from the book on YewChube. I’m not lying when I say it was one of the best nights I’ve ever had, in quarantine or out. To cap it off, I discovered once the livestream ended that the paperback edition of Point B had finally gone on sale over at Amazon. I also realized that the entire front cover of that edition was off center. I will fix this, but if you get a copy with a gimpy front cover, my mom says it’ll become a collector’s item. YOU’LL BE RICH.Read more
I am a fucking moron. For decades, I washed dishes without using dishwashing gloves. I went bareback washing pots and pans and scraping burnt sugar off of cookie sheets. Whenever I finished, my hands would look like I had just dunked them in a hot tub filled with battery acid. Thus, like every good American, I hated washing dishes.Read more
This is Point B. It’s a teleportation love story and you can buy it starting today. As it stands presently, you can only get Point B as an eBook from the dreaded Amazon, but the paperback edition should be available there shortly, perhaps by the end of the week. Should you dare to violate social distancing with packaged materials (my wife and I have a whole system for dealing with such contraband), you will indeed be able to soon get a hard copy of this bad boy and then tell me that there’s a typo in it.Read more
We’re still pretending there’s gonna be an NFL season, which means that there’s still gonna be a draft this week and that teams such as the Chargers, Browns, and Bucs are all unveiling “new” uniforms to get fans creaming their jeans for the season ahead. It’s a new team. A new start. A new ERA.Read more
Terry Jones died last week. He was a founding member of Monty Python, as well as a director, an author, a legitimate historian, and dozens of other multihyphenate occupations beyond. A Renaissance man, in the most traditional and idyllic meaning. I’ll miss him terribly, and I am hardly alone. So, in tribute to the man on this glorious Super Bowl Sunday, here he is headlining one of Python’s greatest sports sketches (and they had a LOT of them) as Ron Obvious, who attempted to become the first man to EVER jump the English Channel. Let’s see how Ron did!
My dog is extremely regular. I walk him in the morning and he shits. I walk him at night and he shits again. If he does NOT shit on either of those walks, I come back home and announce the news with grave concern. “He didn’t poop! What if the poop got backed up in his system and it explodes out of his little doggie skull?” This has yet to happen to my dog, much less any dog, but I remain wary nonetheless. Mostly I don’t want him having to shit on the coffee table in a pinch (pun intended).Read more