The first time I led the herd out for a walk on my own last November, the goats listened to me for five or so minutes. That was about how long it took for them to get out of sight of the commons, at which point they veered away from the down-canyon road and charged up the hill. Earlier that day, my brother and I had easily taken this herd of 18 goats out for their morning walk, and it was chill enough that I believed I would be able to do it alone after the heat had broken that afternoon. I was wrong about this.
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One of the babies; Art by Chris Thompson
If it wasn’t already clear by the first few weeks of isolation, it’s certainly obvious now: hanging out with your pals over webcam sucks shit compared to hanging out in person. A video chat featuring any more than five or six people invites chaos, with nobody sure when it’s their turn to monologue; body language is difficult if not impossible to read; quieter side conversations are non-existent; and even the act of getting up to grab a refill or use the bathroom feels awkward. It is simply unfeasible, no matter how badly we might want to try, to recreate the feeling of casually chatting in a bar or cafe over the internet.
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A very mundane Tigers-Indians game from 2015. Andrew Romine hit a home run.
In their scramble to fill the airwaves with content after the loss of their only valuable commodity—live games—ESPN and the other 24/7 sports channels have mostly opted to play the hits from the past few decades. The Worldwide Leader has tried to promote replays of iconic games like Cavs-Warriors Game 7, Texas-USC in the Rose Bowl, and Super Bowl XLII as true viewing events. NHL Network has shown marathons of Stanley Cup-clinching games. And as I write this, MLB Network is currently airing Game 7 of the 2016 World Series.
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Screengrab via ESPN
It has been a brutal month-plus of no sports. You don’t need me to tell you that. But perhaps I can help by reminding you of the good times: those classic, timeless games that represent everything good about sports.
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The whole world is getting ready for the Big Game on Sunday! On what’s basically become an unofficial holiday, families and friends from all over will gather ‘round to watch two evenly matched competitors go at each other for 60 minutes, with only one team victorious when all is said and done.
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"Little Man, Big Power" by CMy23 is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0
Triumph and tragedy; drama and heartbreak; scandal, scandal, scandal: It has been a wild winter in the world of sports. And it has frustrated us to no end that we haven’t had an outlet to blog about the hugest and juiciest stories, because we love blogging! So, allow this post to serve as some small consolation, both to us and to you, the loyal reader thirsting for our takes.
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Welcome to the Unnamed Temporary Sports Blog. You’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.
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